Anger Issues
by Fairylust
Summary: Mello is pissed and takes his anger out on Near. But does he go too far? Matt notices that Near begins to act strange and Mello is feelin guilty. Both try to help. *ENDED*
1. Chapter 1

Fists clenched to his side, Mello stormed out of Rodger's office.

As he entered Matt's and his dorm he looked to Matt.

The redhead was edgy, nervous and above all angry. A lack of nicotine does that to any addict. Mello felt bad for his buddy. Matt really needed a smoke, but since Near tattled on him for smoking he'd been banned from getting or hiding any. He was monitored daily by 'concerned' tattle tales, such as Linda or her friend Brenda. Watari and L both agreed that it was for the best. Mello was totally angry, but not at Rodger or Linda or Brenda or Watari or L. He was angry with Near. If he hadn't ratted Matt out, then the redhead wouldn't have been in withdrawal. He wouldn't have been suffering.

"I'm gonna find that little albino freak and I'll make him sorry!" Mello screamed.

"Oh, shut up, Mello!" Matt snapped. "Near won again! Get over it!" The redheaded, genius turned back to his video game mumbling swear words under his breath. Mello flinched at Matt's angry tone of voice. It wasn't like the gamer to be so harsh, especially to his bestest friend in the whole world. Mello didn't blame him, though. He needed nicotine and was experiencing one of it's withdrawal symptoms.

The blond mused as he stormed down thee stretching corridor. Mello headed towards Near's dorm, balling his fists at his sides. Near, small, pure and intellectual. How Mello despised the albino. He was secluded, frail, unable to defend himself, yet Mello, strong, diligent and social always seemed to, somehow lose to him.

Did Near plan out his victories…or did Mello allow him to take them? It was puzzling for the blonde. He tried not to make any mistakes, but somehow, his emotions got the better of him. Passing by a couple of kids he recognized Linda. She saw the look on his face and grabbed him by his arm. "Mello are you looking for Near?" She asked in concern.

"No!" the blonde lied.

"You better not hurt him or I'll tell that you've been bulling him, again!" she hissed.

"Mind your own business you, stupid girl!" Mello snapped.

"You better leave him alone!" she said before running off.

Mello felt his rage boil up. Near was hated by most of the kids in Wammy's House, but the girls were willing to protect him from the bullies, such as Mello. He felt his anger rise to its brim and pore over.

He slammed his fist against Near's bedroom door, angrily. When Near was involved it was truly easy for him to lose control, and it was even easier for him to carry out the punishments that he forced upon the younger boy. The door swung open as Mello kicked it, hard. He stomped in and made sure to lock the door behind him.

"Hi Mello." Near deadpanned, as he followed his unexpected visitor's line of motion. Mello scowled at him. Near sat beside of a circle of toys. Most of which were robots. The robots were either silver or multicolored. Mello honestly had no idea as to where they had come from. They appeared to be rather new.

"Hi Near." The blonde said disdainfully. "Are those toys…new?"

"Yes."

"Who got them for you?"

"L sent them to me."

"Oh?"

"He said he was bored, so he made them himself, and sent them to me."

"So, they're special to you, you love them?"

"I _like _them."

Mello felt his rage increase (if at all possible) ten fold.

"That's an insult!" he snapped. "You should be more appreciative, you little brat!"

"It is an insult?" Near asked clutching one to his chest. "I wasn't aware of that, I'm sorry. Maybe you are right, Mello…or maybe you are just trying to rid yourself of anger through your words. Which is it, Mello?"

"You _know_ I'm angry!" Mello shouted, his blue eyes becoming colder with each word. "You know why I'm here! You know where I've been and what've I've been doing for the past three hours! You know what everybody has been saying about Matt and me! You know what you did to poor Matt! You know I'm here to make you pay!"

"Is Matt okay?" The albino questioned.

Mello growled scornfully at him, but didn't reply.

"Is Matt suffering from nicotine withdrawal, now?" Near asked, glancing down at his robots. He sat the one he held down taking a deep breath. His eyes closed for a few brief moments before reopening and looking up at Mello dark, pure, creepy, sad, glossy eyes. "I _didn't _know, Mello. I didn't know." He said innocently, voice just above a whisper.

Mello pounced on him like a lion catching his prey, and pinned him to the white-carpeted floor, whilst crouching on top of him. Near looked around emotionlessly, he seemed rather calm and didn't seem to expect anything bad to happen. He picked up his hand to twirl another lock of hair. Mello stopped him with a threatening glare. All was silent for the first twenty to thirty minutes. Neither spoke, but the tension between them was defiantly high. "You little snitch!" Mello at last snarled. "You know Matt smokes, and you've smelled it from our room before!"

"Mello…I'm sorry…I didn't know…" he whispered shakily.

Mello let out an enraged cry as he grabbed a handful of snowy locks and jerked the small boy's head forward. He slammed the albino's skull into the floor as hard as he could, receiving a whimper of pain from Near, Mello grinned evilly. "You know Near, I think that beating you senseless may just be enough to get through that thick skull of yours. Yes, but just to be safe I'll make sure you won't even think of opening your damn mouth about either Matt or me ever again! I'm gonna make you sorry!"

Mello slapped Near as hard as he could across his face making Near's cheek become an angry red color. Near flinched letting a tiny whimper escape his lips. Mello gave him a satisfied smirk as he climbed to his feet. Near slowly got up and brushed himself off.

"If Mello is finished with me shall he please take his leave?"

"Oh, no, Near, I don't think I will be leaving quite yet!"

"What is Mello planning then? Surely he-" Before Near could finish his sentence Mello shoved him against a painted white wall. Near's head slammed into it with a loud _thunk!_ sound. He then, without warning smashed his lips into Near's pale ones.

Near's dark gray eyes widened in surprise, whilst Mello's icy blue eyes narrowed hatefully as his kiss was filled by pure hatred, yet it was also filled by something else...he didn't know what nor did he care to figure it out. He broke the kiss and Near begun to babble incoherent words but he got enough of the words to understand what he was trying to ask. Mello knew he could use it to torment the albino, later.

"Are you asking if that kiss was meant to be affectionate, if I'm gay, if I care about you? Are you asking if I like you? Are you asking if I'll kiss you again? You'd like that wouldn't you, Near? You'd like it if I'd kiss you again, you're such a puny, pathetic white haired faggot!"

"Mel-"

"The answer is: Hell no! Especially not for an ugly freak like you!"

"Mel-"

"Shut up!" Mello hissed before he pulled the albino into another kiss. Near attempted to pull away, but was slammed against the wall. Unable to move, all Near could do was endure whatever sick kind of torture, Mello had in store for him. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears slipped down his cheeks and he whimpered. He didn't want the pleasure Mello made him feel, but Mello didn't care he wanted the albino to break. Mello broke the kiss for air, but started another after a few minutes.

_How much shall I bend for you, Mello…before I completely break?_ Near asked himself.

Mello nipped at the albino's lower lip and licked at the corner of his mouth forcing Near to open his mouth in a gasp and allowing his tongue access. Near's mouth tasted of… nothingness. He had no taste at all. Mello might as of in well kissed the air. His tongue was cold and attempted to enter his mouth, but Mello had other ideas. He used his tongue to lure Near's into his mouth and smirked against Near's lips as he bit into Near's pale, pink tongue without any mercy.

Near yelped in pain but Mello still refused to release him. The kiss dragged on for a long while, but finally after what felt like several hours Near released a deep, breathy moan and whimpered as Mello broke the kiss.

"Ha! I knew it! I knew it, I knew I was right!" said Mello.

He released a shaky Near who stood leaned against the wall afraid he'd fall over if he were to stand without support. Near could feel his heart breaking as Mello spoke, towered over him and ready to verbally abuse him. He watched Mello with wide, timid doe eyes.

"W-what does Mel-Mello know?" he asked holding back fresh tears.

"I know that truth about you, Near!" Mello said his name as if it were a type of poison.

"You're nothing, but a sick, little, homosexual freak! You love it whenever guys kiss you, don't you? Admit it! You enjoy it! You love it! You're a disgusting faggot! You make me sick! How could L even want you to be his successor? You're disgusting!"

"Please, Mello, stop, please…just go away." Near begged weakly.

"Why don't you do everyone a favor and just drop dead!" Mello said scornfully. "Everybody here hates you! Nobody cares about you! Nobody! And they'll hate you even more when they learn how disgusting you are! They'll want you dead the moment they hear! Get it, Near? Everyone, Matt, Linda, Rodger, Watari, even L hates you!"

"No," Near choked out as sobs ripped from him "that's not…it's not…it can't be…"

"It is true!" Mello spat his words laced by venom. "It's true and you wanna know why? Huh, you wanna know? Answer me! Fine, don't! The answer is: because you're a sick, disgusting homo whose got to be the weakest kid on the entire planet!"

Near shook his head as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"They know how disgusting and how terrible you really are! They hate you, Near! The only reason they put up with you is because they pity you! You're an orphan and that's the only real reason they put up with you and you're worthless life! Look me in the eyes and tell me that they hate you!"

Mello grabbed Near by his shoulders and slammed his fist into Near's face. Then he kissed the albino and released him with a satisfied grunt. He watched as the albino trembled more and his shoulders heaved up and down as he begun to cry, new, fresh tears sliding down his cheeks. He didn't attempt to hide his embarrassment and allowed a dark pink to dust his pale, milky cheeks, which were bruised.

"You're a pathetic, little homo." Mello snarled. "You should go crawl in a ditch someplace, and die!" he yelled making his prey flinch.

"You might as well admit it, Near, you aren't as pure and innocent as everyone believes you to be, no, you're a vile, disgusting little whorish, whelp!"

Near hung his head and sobbed, his hands covered his dark eyes as he fell to his knees.

"Pathetic." Mello mumbled.

Near sobbed and gasped for air as Mello landed a kick to his stomach. He felt horrible pain, not only from his wounds, but also from his heart. Near truly wished he's just die at that moment. Mello was speaking lies, but the more Mello spoke the more like the truth it sounded. Near felt sickened as he wished (desperately) that he would get beaten to death. That way Mello would not be able to harm him anymore.

"Wonder what you'd look like without your stupid white covering you." Mello sneered. "You shouldn't mind being a total fag. Now be still, bitch!"

He grabbed Near's pajama bottoms and he yanked them off after a very brief struggle with Near who sobbed louder once they were successfully pulled off and discarded in a corner of the room. Mello pulled the albino's boxers off, after he was finished with the pants and he was quick to (literally) rip Near's shirt off of his body, not bothering with the buttons. Near was totally bare and tried to hide his nakedness, in vain.

"Mel-Mello!" he squealed as Mello ran an icy hand down his nude body.

"Shh, don't worry, I'll be gentle." Mello whispered kneeling at his side. "Do you want to have sex with another guy, Near? Huh? Do ya? You seem gay enough and pretty enough. You're disgusting enough! What do you say Near?"

"Please, leave…please…." the albino whimpered. Mello saw the bruises he had made on the pale child's body, but didn't care. Near was in agony and he didn't care, but what was that feeling in his chest? The one that made his heart tighten and made him disgusted with himself? Was that a pang of guilt?

No.

It couldn't be.

It wasn't.

Mello groaned as he noticed that his member had become erect with arousal. He scowled down at the albino and his rage flared up again. He slammed a fist down onto Near's side. The small, boy let out a howl of pain, not bothering to hold it in anymore. What was the use? Mello got a reaction from him one way or another, why resist anymore?

Mello grunted as he repeatedly slammed his fists down on the boy's naked body. Bruises formed quickly and his face swelled slightly as blood poured from his nose and busted lower lip. He tried to shield his face with his hands, but Mello being the brutal bully he was moved his hands away and beat on that beautiful, porcelain face mercilessly.

"Look what you done to me!" he snapped at the younger boy, gesturing to the bulge in his tight, leather pants. Near didn't comply and made Mello even madder. "I said look at what you did!" he roared, kicking his victim harshly as Near attempted to close his eyes.

Near looked and blushed. "I-I turn Mello on…?"

"Shut the hell up!"

"I-I-I'm sorry…Mell-Mell-O…I'm sorry Mello…" he sobbed trying to bury his face into the white, blood stained carpet. "I'm…sorry…really sorry."

Mello felt no pity, no mercy…. as he grabbed a handful of Near's silky, white locks and used his free hand to remove his pants and boxers. His erection was shoved against Near's lips, which refused to part, but Mello yanked on the snowy hair causing Near to wail in pain and Mello took this as an opportunity to force the erection into the hot, wet cavern that was Near's mouth.

"Suck it." Mello ordered. Near gave muffled protested and allowed silent tears to slip from the corner of his eyes. "Aww, you losing your perfect control over your emotions?" Mello jeered. Near let out a deep, sob that sent chills up Mello's body.

"N-Near, you bet-better not eve-even think of spit-ting out m-my cum." Mello sputtered as he fought back moans. Near bobbed his head some, before he nodded slowly, quieting down. He sniffled as Mello came into his mouth, and he swallowed every last drop of his assaulter, except what was dripping from the corner of his mouth and down his chin.

"That wasn't too bad, now was it, Near?" Mello laughed maliciously.

Near crawled off towards his bed, but only got a few feet to his bed, before he fell to his elbows and puked up the continents of his stomach. Mello felt a small bit of guilt as he saw his cum mixed in with the puked up continents that had poured from the albino's mouth. He wished he could take his previous actions back, but knew that he could not.

"You can't even handle a little abuse?" Mello scoffed; despite the fact he knew it wasn't just a little abuse. "What a loser, you are, Near." He added after pulled his boxers and pants on. He watched as the albino coughed up more vomit and some clotted blood, but he didn't look at Mello or speak to him.

"Near if you even say one little thing to me for the rest of today I'll do you worse than this. Got that?" Mello snarled.

Near didn't respond.

He lay on the floor beside his puke and started sobbing again.

"Good." Mello said feeling numbed. "I'll take that silence as a yes."

"N-no…" Near finally moaned, finally processing Mello's threat. "N-no, please, leave me alone...please…" he curled up into a smaller ball trying to disappear.

"That should teach you not to mess with Matt and me you puny albino pussy." Mello hissed as he turned on his heel, but paused at the door of the room. "You'd better keep your damn mouth shut about this, freak." He growled at the trembling, sobbing albino lying on the floor curled up in a ball. And with that said he retreated from the room, leaving Near to cry and wail his heart out, to drown in his overflowing emotions alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

I probably won't be able to continue this story until I finish another fan fic.

And to help me out please vote on which I should finish first. Ya know, since I'm busy most of the time and wanna finsih these one at a time starting with the most favorite, so far, but I've noclue which is the most favorite, so please vote.

Anyways, let's just say that I'll make up the polls after I'm sure all my fics are on here and when I get back from my best friend, Brayann's baby shower...she's having twins! I'm so happy for her! Anyways, I'll be doin all that later after I return.

Oh, and I'll also have a poll for a songfic that I want to attemp, but am not certain which song to choose, please help me out!

I'll go ahead and do the songfic poll, before I leave...as I asked before, pwease help me!

I'd greatly appreciate it!

XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah, I'm still alive...**

**And kicking I guess ya could say. **

**Sorry for not updating any of my stories! My computer was like having a deadly virus attack that prevented me from getting on the web, at all. So, so, so, so, so sorry ya'll! I promise that I've been writing while it was down, though, it was like I got tons of ideas while it was down! Weird, right? Anyways, my friend loved the gift I got her and is still obsessing over how cute it is and...well...I won't go into that, mostly because it's irrelevent to anything I have previously typed, anyways, I hope you enjoy what I wrote on this while the web was down on me. I thought I did pretty well, or ya know, whatever.**

**Pwease, R&R!**

**XD**

* * *

Near sat in his room, alone as usual. He still felt the pain from Mello's beating. Despite the fact it happened several weeks ago. He found himself eating less and less food, drinking fewer liquids, playing with his toys less and less.

Near hardly slept anymore, but he couldn't focus on his homework or any task he was given to do. Cleaning his bedroom took all of his concentration, which he had hardly any control over anymore. The albino struggled to keep his room tidy, but had ultimately given up, just as he'd given up on completing or even bothering to look at his work, not caring that his grades were plummeting downwards and ready to hit rock bottom.

Near's once clean room was now dusty, with toys and books and papers lying just about everywhere and his bed wasn't made up as it used to have been and the covers and sheets were horribly wrinkled. The curtains to his windows were always drawn, forcing the room into dimness. His toys went untouched just as his work and room did.

Near had tried to play with them at times, but he always-felt empty and sick, just to look at them. If touched he begun to cry, feeling useless, worthless and above all weak and hated. He couldn't understand why he felt the way he did. He'd heard of the symptoms and recognized his situation as depression, but he didn't want to accept it. He'd never been depressed, had no reason to be, but…he couldn't deny the logic. Near was sinking, each day, but nobody noticed, nobody, but L, Watari and Linda.

"I really am pathetic." He scolded himself as he winced from a hunger pang. "Just a little pain…that's all it is…a little pang of hunger."

Suddenly he heard a knock at his door, his body tensed as it had been, ever since Mello had barged in. Beaten, raped and verbally abused him. He took a deep breath to stay calm. Twirling a lock of snowy white hair with a shaky hand he looked at the door, praying that the blonde would not be the one to knock, with his wary, yet dead and empty doe eyes. The door opened and L entered the room, walking in his usual slouched manner. Near's tenseness eased off at the sight of his mentor.

"Well, this room is a mess." He muttered looking around the room. "Near have you fallen behind on cleaning?"

"Yes."

"It isn't like you to let things, such as your living space, to fall out of order." L said knowingly. "Every time, every year, every day I have visited you, your room has been neat and clean. Now, it seems as if you do not care for your living conditions."

"I'm just behind on cleaning, that is-"

"A lie." L interrupted. "You have also fallen behind on your work. Do you know how badly your grades have become? How you are now ranked?"

"No."

"It's quite disappointing, to be truthful, Near. You have allowed Mello to take the number one spot and Matt, now, has the position of number two, Linda is now, currently ranked number three. And you, Near, you have the lowest rank of number ten."

"Oh…I am sorry." Near said quietly, avoiding L's gaze. "I am sorry."

"I know you don't deserve that ranking Near," L said softly "so why are you accepting it? Why are you allowing you're grades to disintegrate like this? It isn't like you, not at all. The Near whom I have known since brought here as a toddler wouldn't allow his grades to fall so dramatically. He wouldn't ignore things like you are. Tell me why."

"You know why." Near muttered, voice breaking. "You're L…you know…"

"Yes. I know you are depressed. I can't figure out why, though. You have no reason to be upset. Did something happen that you have not revealed to anyone? Were you beaten down? Were you verbally abused?"

Near didn't speak.

"Your silence confirms it Near. Now, tell me whom it was that harmed you. There is a long list of bullies as you may already know. But the main suspects are probably the ones responsible."

_That was very well deducted, L._ Near thought to himself bitterly. _No wonder you are the world's greatest three detectives to have ever been born. I am truly unworthy to succeed you. I do not deserve the title nor the respect the position holds._

"Was it Mello and Matt or just Mello? Did Mello do something to make you this way? Did he hurt you?"

Near's entire body instantly tensed, upon hearing the blonde's name and he let out a faint gasp that he hoped L would not take notice of or question him about. He felt the cold, wet tears come to his eyes and he bowed his head allowing his snowy locks to hide his eyes. "N-no. It was-wasn't M-Mello…or Matt…I-I just feel…sad…"

"Near, it was Mello, wasn't it?" L said knowing better than to believe Near's obvious lie.

"He said or done something to hurt you didn't he?" he questioned.

L watched as Near kept a timid silence between them. The silence was all of the confirmation L needed. The small nod Near provided him after a few minutes also gave him his answer. "Do you feel like talking about it?" the detective asked. Near gave him a shake of his head. He let out a choked sob as the memories begun to fall apart and he felt ashamed. L must have scorned him for being so fragile, so weak.

"He didn't just beat you up." It was both a statement and a question. "Mello done something much worse, didn't he?"

"P-please leave." Near sobbed.

L gave him a nod and left. He stood outside the doorway and listened as the usually emotionless boy fell apart and wailed loudly in his room.

_Mello needs to be questioned on this matter. Near is suffering terribly and if my theory is correct then Mello not only beat Near, but he also raped him, probably said a few things that have wounded Near's deductive skills and hidden emotions, yes, the blonde is defiantly the cause of it, but I wonder what could've driven him to do something so cruel._ L thought shaking his head with a mixture of disgust, pity and curiosity.

He walked down to Matt and Mello's room. Luckily Mello was the only one present. He was changing out of his usual black shirt and was sliding another one that was exactly identical to it on. L stepped in without knocking and watched as he stared at him with a frown, it was a nervous, grim look. L was the first to break the silence.

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh? Do what?"

"Mello, do not play dumb with me. You know it will not work. I am too smart to believe you know nothing about this. The point is that, I know about what you've done to Near. The signs are all too obvious and point to the same thing."

"Oh…" Mello muttered looking to the floor. "What's the matter with the little freak?"

"He's dangerously depressed and may be dying because of your harsh actions, Mello. I have noticed that he refuses to eat and hydrate himself properly. He cannot sleep well because of constant nightmares. He will not do any of his work or play with his toys, Mello, he's miserable. And I fear that he may kill himself if this issue is not resolved."

"Near…Near…depressed…?" Mello murmured in annoyance.

"Yes." L simply replied.

"It's gotta be a lie…Near _wouldn't_…he _couldn't_…why…I didn't mean to…"

L looked to Mello who was confused and unable to comprehend that Near was depressed and in pain. He couldn't believe that the albino had emotions, even after all that had been shown during the time he had hurt the boy. Mello shook his head and looked to L with teary blue eyes. He let out a strangled sob as he took a step back. The detective watched Mello with interest. The blonde was so emotional, so intelligent, but too quick to act.

"I didn't mean to break him so badly." Mello sobbed. "I really…I really didn't wanna break him…so badly…I didn't mean to…"

"He _isn't_ broken Mello," the detective corrected "Near is _shattered_."

Mello trembled guilt written all over. "What can I do?"

"Apologize." L said. "Apologizing to Near is the best you can do, at the moment, Mello. After that you should comfort him. If he is still conscious afterwards come out of the closet. He's in the closet, too, Mello. There is no real shame in it."

"You knew…about my…feelings for…?"

"Yes." L nodded. "I realized your feelings for each other ever since, you came here as toddlers. I _have _questioned myself, on that matter, though."

Mello gaped at him for a second.

"Seeing as you beat him up so much, but I quickly realized you were trying to deny your feelings, as Near was by avoiding you and keeping his silence longer whenever around you." He gave Mello a blank stare but there was a sad aura radiating from his body.

"Okay. I'll apologize." Mello promised as he sobbed louder. L smiled. It was a tiny, creepy smile, but it was a smile all the same. Mello rushed to the young genius's room half expecting it to appear as he had last left it, but was shocked to find that it was not the same. He saw it was completely different and trashed. Near was curled up in a corner of his room sobbing at the sight of Mello. Near wished that he'd fade away into nothingness, just vanish and never return. He wished to die, terrified that he'd be brutally beaten and raped once again.

"M-Mello!" he gasped.

"Near it's alright, I promise I'm not here to hurt you."

"Th-that's a lie!"

"No, it isn't."

"Then why are you here?"

"To apologize."

"Why?"

"I feel guilty…and…it's the proper thing for me to do…you, know, anyways, I'm sorry."

"Oh, nothing else?"

"Nah…well…there is…one…little thing…Near…"

"Yes?"

"I-I um…I…"

"Yes, Mello?"

"I…l-love….I l-lo-love…I-I-I love…um…"

"You love?"

"Yes."

"You…love what?"

"I…love…I…love…"

"Mello?"

"To hell with it!"

Mello grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. Near struggled to get away, but Mello held him tightly for five full minutes. By the time he released the albino he had a blush smeared across his face. He saw Near panting and sweating, nervous of what he was going to do next.

Near watched him with wide, fearful eyes. Natural for anyone who had been beaten and raped, and were in a situation much like what happened before they were raped and beaten and the situation was with the abuser/rapist who made your life miserable, if not unbearable. Near could see the scene replaying in his mind, Mello ripping his pure white clothes off and then forcing his large, erect cock into his mouth, forcing Near to pleasure him, to make the albino swallow all of his cum and then vomit. Near had had nightmares of that for weeks, and the feeling that the cock was there in his throat lasted for at least three misery filled weeks.

Mello knelt down in front of Near and looked at him with his blue eyes as cold as ever. "Near be still." He said as he reached for the albino's pajama top.

"N-no." he muttered trembling.

"Near, don't be afraid, I just want to-"

"N-no…no…"

"Near, shut up, and be still or I'll snap your arm in half." Mello said losing his cool.

"No!" he shouted fearfully.

Near slapped the blonde across his face not bothering to listen to his explanation. He watched trembling as Mello's face turned a bright red where he'd been hit, then flush from a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Mello stood towering over the albino. He glared down at him angrily. His fists clenched at his sides he appeared ready to kill.

Near closed his eyes to block out the image, but still felt when his shirt was held roughly and he was jerked forward. He opened his eyes in enough time to see Mello straddling him. He felt his chest tighten. It suddenly became really hot around him and hard to breathe. If last time was oral sex then was this time going to be anal sex? He whimpered at the thought and felt tears slip from his eyes. He watched warily as Mello reached forward and buttoned up his top two buttons, which had been unbuttoned.

Near gasped in confusion as Mello got up off of him, turned on his heel and ran from the room. It was so embarrassing for Mello! He wasn't trying to frighten Near or hurt him. He just wanted…to button those first two…it disturbed him to see them undone.

Whatever…

He apologized, he didn't hurt Near for slapping him and he didn't rape Near; he had nothing to feel guilty about, right?

Right?

Wrong.

Mello felt terrible.

He felt like an inhumane beast that just murdered an innocent kid. It was a huge wave of guilt that crashed over him in one drowning move. He'd frightened Near, forced him into a kiss, made him cry and above all that threatened him. He screwed things up, big time, and he felt as if he were a total douche. It made his heart crumble up. Near thought that Mello hated him, probably thought that everyone hated him, and it was the blonde's entire fault.

He paused where he stood, before turning on his heel and running back to Near's room. He kicked the door open and locked it behind him as he entered the room. Near was sitting on his bed and appeared terrified of the older, stronger male.

Mello made no attempt to calm himself as he moved quickly, and got onto Near's bed with him. The albino whimpered as his unwanted visitor leapt on top of him.

"Mello…?"

"Shh," Mello whispered "I don't wanna hurt you, Near."

"Why are you-"

"Be-because…I-I can…"

"P-please…get off me…Mello…get off…"

"Shh, don't make me mad."

The small albino whimpered, trembled as Mello leaned in uncomfortably close to him. What was he gonna do? Near was worried, nervous, uncertain and afraid, but he tried to hide it behind an emotionless mask, that wouldn't form for him. Before he knew it Mello was pulling his pajama top off and tossing it to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took so long, but here is an update.**

**Pwease, read, enjoy and review.**

**Oh, and somebody tell Kit to update some of her fanfics when she gets back! Pwease! Someone pwease do that for me!**

**~Luv Fairylust~**

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"Mello! Please, please get off me!"

Near was clearly both uncomfortable and afraid, but Mello didn't pay him much mind, which if he'd paid attention to the plea in Near's dark eyes he would've probably done as requested and gotten off the younger boy. But he didn't see that plea and continued doing what he liked. It wasn't the best measure to take but he did and undoubtedly regretted it.

"S-stop!"

"Near, I just want to make you feel good, is that a crime?"

"I-it is a crime if it's un-unwanted!" the albino sputtered.

"Look if you don't want this just say so and I'll-"

"I DON'T WANT THIS!" The albino screeched at the top of his lungs. He wailed loudly as tears came to the corners of his eyes and threatened to spill over. Mello covered the younger boy's mouth and nodded with a scowl.

"Okay, fine, if that's how you want it." He muttered calmly.

He removed his hand and kissed the younger boy passionately. When he pulled away, breaking the kiss he left Near in a shocked silence. Near didn't want that kiss, but Mello had given it to him anyway. Mello didn't see any signs of emotion after a few seconds passed and Near began to twirl a strand of white hair around his finger, expressionless. Near looked to him with glossy eyes that Mello found beautiful, yet sickening.

"How do you feel, Near?" the blonde asked. He hoped he didn't sound vindictive, but concerned or curious. He was standing close to the albino's bedroom door in case he had to make a fast escape. And he really hoped he wouldn't need to make _any_ kind of escape.

Near wrapped his arms around his stomach he was feeling ready to puke his guts out. Near felt his face as it flushed a reddish, pink color. He felt cross that Mello would try to make him feel worse than he already did, he felt saddened that the blonde was hurting him, but he mostly felt humiliated that he was enduring the abuse for a second time.

Of course Mello didn't know he felt that, but he begun to assume that Near was cross at him as the reddish color on Near's cheeks grew to a beautifully dark shade of scarlet red and he kept his silence, not even seeming to breath for several minutes. Mello wondered if Near was still alive. He sat on his bed so motionless and quiet. It was eerie.

"Near?" Mello called gently from where he stood.

"Get the hell out." Near muttered harshly.

"What did you say?" Mello gawped.

"Get the hell out!" Near snapped at the bewildered blonde.

"Near-"

"Shut up!" Near snapped starting to pull at his white locks of hair. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you so much!"

"Near!" he gasped feeling a sharp stab to his heart. He briefly wondered if Near had felt that way when Mello told him he hated him. Mello stood frozen by shock and emotional pain, which made his heart throb with a dull ache that seemed to sharpen.

"I hate you!" Near shouted continuing the livid chant. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I wish you were dead!"

Mello flinched feeling his heart start to throb faster with that same ache. "Near I did-"

"I wish _I_ were dead!" Near yowled. "I want to crack my skull open! I want to slit my wrists like some emo! I want to rip my chest open! That would please Mello wouldn't it? If I were dead Mello would be pleased! I want to die! I really, really want to die!"

"Near, don't say those awful things, please, don't say those awful things." Mello said in a whisper, which was intended to be louder than what it came out to be.

"I want to die! That would unquestionably make Mello happy!"

"Near stop saying that!" the blonde snapped.

Near looked at Mello as if he'd just realized he was in the room. His wrath was swiftly released on him as Mello opened his mouth to speak further, he was going to try and calm Near, but the albino didn't give him half the chance. If at all any chance.

"Out! I want you the fuck out of my damn room!"

"Near you need to-"

"Get the hell out you damn filthy slag! Whorish git! Get the hell out of my damned room you freakin slut!"

Mello done as told, if Near was using such language, then it meant he was really cross with the blonde. Any idiot who lived with the albino would know that he never used any bad or emotional language unless someone forced it out of him (in this case Mello) and makes him really, really, really pissed. As soon as Mello was out of his room Near didn't let up on the insults or curses and kept them coming trying to get rid of some of his unseen, bottled up fury that had been buried inside his mind for quite sometime.

Standing in the hall Mello listened as Near continued his string of insults and curses. A faint pink crossed Mello's cheeks as he explained what happened to L who didn't seem too pleased, but he didn't seem too unpleased. He appeared rather neutral.

"Don't worry he can't stay _that _infuriated forever it isn't in his nature." L said calculatingly. "He's probably just blowing off a tiny bit steam."

"Tiny bit?" Mello said skeptically. "That wasn't a tiny bit! It was a great deal of steam!"

"His rage has been bottled up for a long time now, Mello." L said in the same calculating voice. "I believe he's just releasing some of it on you because you've always given him the chance. He'll feel bad about it later and he will without any uncertainty go to your room later today or maybe early tomorrow morning. He'll be extremely embarrassed and prepared to beg on his knees for your forgiveness."

"Why?" Mello demanded. "I've no idea why he would want to. I've put him through hell ever since I met the little bastard. And every time I do anything to him he's like a stupid little puppy you dump on the side of the road because you just want to get rid of it, but it always comes crawling back. Why doesn't he just leave me alone? He knows there is a chance he can get hurt. Especially after that entire episode in his room."

"Puppies are devoted, but I'd say Near is more of a cat than a dog. Matt is the dog."

"Whatever. Leave Matt outta this."

"You know Near _is _devoted if he hasn't told on you about what you did to him."

"And stupid."

"Do you openly believe Near of all people is stupid?"

"…."

"He undoubtedly loves you, that much should be evident to you."

"…."

"I'll be going now, but I'll be back later to check up on you two. Oh, and Mello?"

"Yeah?"

"Please, work out your anger issues."

"I'll try."

"Is that a promise or just meaningless words?"

"…Meaningless words…."

Without further discussion L left.

Mello felt that dull ache become a sharp stab that didn't go away, but worsened the longer it was there. Why did he have to do what he done? He knew Near was going to be scared of him, he knew the albino wouldn't have wanted to be in (sexual) contact with him. He was probably in his room still cursing or maybe he'd calmed down and was actually contemplating suicide. Mello felt his stomach lurch uneasily at the thought. If Near died it'd be all his fault. And if it were his entire fault then he'd be a murderer.

_Why not?_ He wondered miserably. _I'm already a rapist. Why not add murder to the list of things I've done to hurt the people around me? _

Near sat in his room, he wasn't angry, or frightened, nor was he contemplating suicide as Mello was worrying about. Near was simply relaxing. After Mello had left and he'd finished his temper tantrum he felt much better about himself, but he also felt a bit worse. He cleaned his room a bit to take his mind off of Mello but he couldn't. He twirled his hair and sighed feeling his stomach flip and flop bizarrely. Guilt tugged at his being and tormented him. Near felt a bit confused, because he never felt as guilty as he did then. He recalled how childishly he acted and knew that was where the guilt was coming from.

He looked to his bedroom door.

The thought of asking Mello for forgiveness crossed his mind, but he smacked it away like it were an annoying insect. After all he'd done and all he'd said the idea was out of the question. Mello hated him even more, but so what? Near didn't care anymore.

If Mello was so heartless to hurt him as he did then why bother asking for forgiveness? He'd probably just hurt him more later. Why bother asking Mello to stop hurting him? Even if Near begged and pled and Mello promised he wouldn't Near doubted that the blonde would truly stop trying to hurt him.

There just was no use stopping the inevitable when Mello was involved.

_I forgive you Mello._ Near thought longingly. _And you can come back to my room, just please, don't hurt me like that again. Please, Mello, I wouldn't be able to live if you hurt me like that again. _His thoughts quickly turned to what he said. _Damn, I must've really hurt Mello's feelings…either that or pissed him off and he's now thinking of how to get vengeance. I seriously need to work out my anger issues._

He managed to fall into a dreamless sleep after a short while.

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**Pwease, pretty, pwease R&R!**


	5. Chapter 5

**END NOTICE: I HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE THIS STORY THE WAY IT IS AND SAY THAT THAT'S IT. HOPE YA LIKE WHERE I LAST LEFT IT. **

**IT'S NOT COUNTED OR I DON'T THINK IT IS, SO SORRY, BUT THAT'S THAT.**


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